Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
