At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
