so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and she was petting her beer can
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
