you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
