been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize