i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize