Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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