Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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