I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
