whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wish I only lived at night.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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