Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
