Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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