Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
