i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
