Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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