You work out of a Hotel?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
two words: eviction party
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
