the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
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On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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