I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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