Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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