Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All I want is dick and wine.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
