my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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