drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
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Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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