Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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