i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize