you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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