Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
