We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
