I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
