I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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