I wannas sexs uuuuu
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
