you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need water and some morals
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
