i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
