dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
