4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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