This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
3 2 1 whiskey
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
