he wants to bone in the snuggie
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
