It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
