I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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