Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
