i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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