Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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