What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
