I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
