maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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