butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
