If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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