I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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