I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
