I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
