Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
