fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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