You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
