My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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