im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
