Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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