I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
