nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
