I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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