i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize