After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You need a sexual gate keeper
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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