Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering

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(586): View more from Michigan

I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?

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