I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision