I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year