I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
